Asthma or Anxiety?

'Mom, I can't breathe.'  'Mom, it's hard for me to breathe.'  'Mom, I'm not kidding.'  This is what I heard for 3 hours Friday morning.  Nick was in school, trying to stay in class, but went to see the nurse 4 times. Yes, 4 times in 3 hours. Nick is asthmatic so this is not unusual.  What is unusual is there were none of the normal triggers present (dramatic changes in the weather, illness).   On the 4th visit, I called the peds and got an appointment later in the day and sent him back to class.

At lunch time, I met him at the cafeteria.  He was uncomfortable with his table.  The first day of lunch he had a peanut-free table, but was to share the table with another class.  He was worried the other students would have peanut butter.  He shared this within in minutes of getting home.  I immediately sent an email to the teacher and principal and asked to meet to correct this.  Within minutes, I had a response from the principal (our school is pretty amazing when dealing with his food allergy).  His table will be changed.  I met Nick at the cafeteria.  He now has a table that is strictly for his class and is peanut-free.  It is moved away from the other tables to eliminate the risk of contact with peanut products (Nick is contact allergic).  As soon as the table situation was handled, Nick became his outgoing self again. I watched him interact with peers and advocate for himself telling each peer that they were welcome to sit with him if they didn't have peanut butter.

After lunch, it was off to the doctor's office.  He hadn't complained of trouble breathing since lunch, but I didn't want to take any chances.  ***Not-so-much Mom of the Year Moment*** I once made him wait to go to the doctor because I thought he was just trying to get out of school when in fact he had pneumonia***  Needless to say, I don't wait anymore.  He was given a clean bill of health....

Hmmm.... we talked on the way home about feelings of nervousness and difficulty breathing and how they kind  of feel the same.  He finally told me he was just feeling really, really nervous about his lunch table.  Since our bullying incident in May, Nick has had a greater awareness of his food allergy, but apparently along with the awareness has come anxiety.

We are now in the process of trying to identify a professional to help him with his anxiety about his food allergy and how to tell if it's anxiety or asthma.  Just one more step in this journey.

First Day of School... Hoping it ends this way too!

bully. Update

This update is looong over due and for that apologize.  Emotionally, I haven't been able to process it all and then life just got busy with summer.  So here's an update from the bullying incident at school.

• At Nick's request, his peanut-free table was moved further away from the other tables and closest to the cafeteria monitor's desk.
• The incident was treated as a life-threatening incident.  The child was given a day of in-school suspension. Code of conduct calls for 3 days of out-of-school suspension, but given the age and that if the child was home they would likely be watching tv, a day staring at walls seemed more appropriate. 
• Nick's 504 plan was adapted so he could carry and self-administer his epi-pen and asthma medicine.  Everyone was very accommodating and let me decide what would be best. The pediatrician doesn't usually write self-carry scripts (NY is the only state that doesn't have a self-carry law for epinephrine) for 8 year olds, but felt he was mature enough to handle this.  
• This is the coolest thing of all (of course, I'm probably completely biased). Watch this video.....

 Ironically, this video came out near the time of the incident.  The first time I saw it, I cried.  Ok... I cry every time I watch. The little boy gets me every.time. Could this hit any closer to home? I showed this to Nick and asked him what he thought.  His response,'That's exactly how I feel.'  <insert silent manic here>  Oh my.... he doesn't feel safe at school.  I let him lead the way by prompting him with questions.  Here's what he told me... 'Mom, kids don't get that peanuts are like a loaded gun to me.  They can kill me. (by the way, this is not the cool part of it) I think my friends should see this.'  

 From that statement, we made an action plan and presented it to the principal.  In June, Nick showed 75 of his classmates (his grade level) the video and answered questions for 20 minutes. I can't tell you how proud I am of him.  In those 20 minutes, his confidence grew and his friend's gained a greater appreciation of his allergy.  I was amazed at how insightful and thoughtful 8 year olds are. Nick has asked to talk to the WHOLE school during their anti-bullying assembly at the beginning of the year.   

So... we start school in 4 weeks.  I'm on heightened alert all the time, especially since the death of 13 year old last week after she took one bite from a rice krispie treat.  We've met with the new teacher.  I've been more assertive with my requests about a peanut free classroom and reminders being sent home with holiday party information.  I've signed up for webinars about food allergies and bullying.  I'm on a small mission (as much as time allows) to find out why NY doesn't have a self carry law. And Nick... well, he's pretty resilient.  He just keeps leading the life of an 8 year old boy.