Surviving Halloween

Halloween... In our house, it's not about enjoying it, it's about surviving it. And that makes me kind of mad and kind of sad. Sad that it's not a carefree holiday for us and my son feels left out and realizes he is 'different'. And mad I'm that we even have to deal with this.  You see, my oldest has a peanut allergy. I'd tell you it's a severe allergy, but any peanut allergy is severe.

Surviving Halloween isn't something new. We actually don't know how to do this any other way. We've been doing this for 7 years, but I thought it would get easier when in reality it gets harder each year.  He's growing up and knows he's different and often feels left out. Classroom parties, trick or treating, friend's party.

When he was younger, we would trade candy he couldn't eat with 'safe' candy. One year, we paid him for the candy he couldn't eat. Both worked.... Except for my hips. They screamed and begged for a different approach.  Two years ago, we invented the 'Candy Witch.' The Candy Witch was a brainstorm developed on a Disney trip. We knew most candy was off limits and we also knew we didn't want take it home with us.  The idea... The kids trick and treat and save a few pieces of 'safe' candy and the rest is left by the door for the Candy Witch. The Candy Witch zooms in while they're asleep and swaps the candy for a prize. The kids love this!  (And my hips are smiling too!) AND.... I'm not ashamed to admit that I've used the Candy Witch like I would Santa Claus... That's how much the kids live the idea!

The Candy Witch, however, doesn't work for classroom parties.  Nick has a fabulous teacher who doesn't allow any peanut products in the classroom. BUT.... There's always a but.... I worry about cross contamination. So he's not allowed to take homemade food or donuts or candy that may contain peanuts. I tried filling up a goody bag of 'stuff' and surprised him with it at school hoping to make him feel special not just different. It went over okay, but he then decided he felt bad for his classmates and wanted me to make one for everyone.  So this year, my plan is to check all the food that comes in the class (I do this for every party) for potential safe food, send in goody bags for all is classmates. These contain some food items, but mostly non-food trinkets.  And pray... Pray for a day filled with laughter and fun. Pray that he feels including in the celebration.

And while I pray, I will reconcile my sadness and madness with reality. This is our reality. We know no other way.  I will carry more medicine than most ambulances have and diligently check candy. I will laugh with my kids and enjoy these moments while they are little.  If my reality is teaching my son how to survive Halloween so eventually he can enjoy Halloween, then not only will we survive Halloween, we will own Halloween.

I am blessed...

Today was our 1 month post-surgery check-up. And we breathe and wait. 
And while we wait and wait and wait to see the doctor...

I gain perspective.  No matter what happens at this appointment, I know I am blessed.

The waiting room seems to be filled with an unusual amount of children 2 and under with multiple medical issues today. Cords being carried by one parent, while the other parent comforts their newborn.  Parents opting to wait outside. Perhaps to enjoy a beautiful fall day, or perhaps to avoid the germs that may harm their infant child.  I look around and know that I am blessed.  I am blessed that while Mallory's cataract was congenital, it didn't impair her sight until the beginning of this year.    I am blessed that she just so happened to have a well child visit in June. I am blessed that her pediatrician was diligent and made a referral. I am blessed that we have a great doctor and her surgery went great. I am blessed that she doesn't fight me very often with patching. I am blessed that I can bribe her with patching charts.  I am blessed that I haven't had to fight her with contacts.  I am blessed that other than her cataract, she is healthy.

Stickers on the nose, like the Dr. 

Mallory's left eye is now 20/40.  Pressure is good, too.  She will continue to patch for 4 hours a day for the next two months trying to improve the eye.  We ordered new glasses today so she can finally see close up.  If I'm lucky, she will wear these new glasses like the last ones... Like she was born to wear them.

Our patching mess

And while I know how blessed I am, I also know in this short amount of time how heartbreaking this all can be.  I know the tears she sheds when she doesn't want to patch when other kids are around.  "Mama, the tids will lat at me," is what I hear. (Translation- Mom, the kids will laugh at me)  Heartbreaking that a 4 year old already knows kids pick on others who are different. Heartbreaking that I will always be waiting for the 'other shoe to drop.'  
Because we are blessed to have a had success so far. An easy road in comparison to the other imoms and the other families in the waiting room today.  And with a little bit hope and a whole lot of faith, we hope our blessings will continue. And if they don't, we still have a little bit of hope and a whole lot of faith to tackle the next obstacle. 

These Eyes

These eyes. These eyes are Mallory's eyes. These eyes have been commented on more times than we can count and used for more manipulations than any 4 year old should even know how to do.  I just never knew these eyes would end up being the center of our world, her world. 

Long before glasses became her 'thing'

It started with a routine eye exam. Two kids in elementary school and good health insurance pushed me to schedule eye exams.   Mallory, being the 3rd child , just went along like she always does.  Older two need glasses, ok, no problem. The doctor notices something on Mallory's left eye, but isn't too concerned so I'm not too concerned.  Remember, Mallory is the third child and not too much makes me panic anymore.  So in my head, I think 'well, we'll follow up in 2 years at the next exam (I have good insurance, but not that good to come every year).  This was January, fast forward to June. 

Well child visit (I try to keep up on them).  Mallory struggles with the eye exam they preform.  She tries to cheat when her right eye is covered.....Hmmmm.  The Dr. then notices she doesn't have red reflex in her left eye and rechecks this several times.  Whoa... what does that mean?  It means scheduling an appointment with a Pediatric ophthalmologist .  Ok. I got this covered. I call and schedule an appointment thinking its going to be months.  Nope. We get an appointment for the following week.  Again, Hmmm. That seems so quick.  The allergist is 4-6 weeks for an appointment.  So being all nerdy mom, I decide to research leukocoria. Bad idea. I worry mildly panic.

 Fast forward to appointment day.  Paperwork, check eyes, dilate eyes, check eyes. Diagnosis- cataract.  Course of treatment- patch 2 hours a day, glasses, follow up in 2 months. Eye sight in her left eye 20/80.  Ok, easy enough. Fight with her patch for 2 months....check.  Bribe her  for 2 months...check.  Replace the lens once in 2 months...check.   However, she LOVES her glasses. 


 Follow up in August:  Eye sight is no better. Actually, it's worse 20/125.  Course of treatment- surgery. < Insert whatever emotions you can think of here> We felt them all. 

Rockin' those glasses

Fast forward- Day of surgery. She did excellent. She made the surgery easy for us. No problems.  Dr. says its a congenital cataract. Course of treatment: eye drops, let it heal, follow up in a month.
Bonus of the day: The Dr. introduced me to another mom whose 2 year old had a cataract. Who in turn introduced me to the world of  'iMoms.'  Thanks, Amanda

And that month ends.... October 22nd.  That's when we will find out what is next for these eyes.

Chasing Rainbows

This is new.  This is scary.  The sharing of our journey navigating the world with our children- one who has a severe peanut allergy and asthma, one who was recently diagnosed with a cataract and one who lives in the middle of this craziness.  This is our journey of raising three kids, craziness and all, and at the end of the day making sure they have HOPE.

A view from our front door

Together, we chase rainbows. Because at the end of every rainbow lies a little bit of hope!