When she says it packs a punch... it sure does, like a sucker punch. I've always counted my blessings knowing Mallory was fortunate to have had eyesight before the cataract. We avoided the contacts, the drops and the multiple patches a day drama (and a lot of tears). So here's my imom confession: Because I know how fortunate we are in this journey, I often give Mallory a hard time for giving me a hard time. Honestly, she patches for 2 hours a day! No drops, no contacts. Stick it on, play with play-doh, watch Doc McStuffiins, drive mom crazy with 'Can I take it off now?' How hard could this really be? (I can hear your gasps of shock by this unsympathetic imom confession. I didn't say I was proud of it)
Here's my other iMom confession: I GET IT! I (almost) totally get why this is hard, really hard, even for just 2 hours a day. And here's why:
Day 1
I decided to try this out late in the morning. I was heading to school for Together Time with Mallory and thought it would be a perfect opportunity. She gave me a hard time at first, but then thought is was pretty neat she could pick out the patch for me to 'wear.' Off to school we went. She went to class and I went about my duties of PTA mom and epi-imom, stopping to talk with teachers, secretaries, the nurse. Several times people would glance at the patch on my hand, but only once did someone say something. 'Hey nice band-aid.' I left it at that. Next stop was Mallory's room. At first, she was embarrassed by me having it on my hand, but then she forgot about. And guess what- NOT one child or parent mentioned anything about it. Nothing. I saw a few glances and was mentally preparing my answers to their questions, but no questions were asked. Interesting.
Mallory took the patch off for me that night and as she's carefully peeling it away from skin she says 'Be strong, Mom. This doesn't hurt.' She then placed it on her patching chart. I felt like I earned a gold star for the day.
Day 2
I did this the following day because it was a day I worked. My job is in mental health and requires me to be in people's home. I wanted to see if their responses would be different. And they were. No one was afraid to ask about the patch. Many commented on my nice band-aid or asked if I had some kind of procedure done. I spent 8 hours sharing Mallory's story, our story. And you know what, there were times I became self-conscious. I would use my coat sleeve to cover it up if I thought someone was noticing it. I didn't want to answer any more questions, I didn't want anyone noticingit me. I didn't want to be different. I didn't want the patch on anymore. It was annoying. It was pulling. I wanted it off. But then, in the back of my mind, I heard this little voice say, 'Be strong, Mom.' So I soldiered on and proudly displayed my patch, shared our story.
Blog after blog I read how amazing how ikids are and that they are iwarriors and they totally are. Every day Mallory gets up and puts her patch and glasses on and lives life through the sight of one eye for two hours. Every day, for two hours, she knows she's different. Every day we, as iMoms, know our kids are different, and we are making a difference in the life of our ikids. We barter. We argue. We cry. We console. Every day we soldier on. Every. day. If our amazing little ikids can do this then so can we! In the words from my four year old....
Here's my other iMom confession: I GET IT! I (almost) totally get why this is hard, really hard, even for just 2 hours a day. And here's why:
Day 1
I decided to try this out late in the morning. I was heading to school for Together Time with Mallory and thought it would be a perfect opportunity. She gave me a hard time at first, but then thought is was pretty neat she could pick out the patch for me to 'wear.' Off to school we went. She went to class and I went about my duties of PTA mom and epi-imom, stopping to talk with teachers, secretaries, the nurse. Several times people would glance at the patch on my hand, but only once did someone say something. 'Hey nice band-aid.' I left it at that. Next stop was Mallory's room. At first, she was embarrassed by me having it on my hand, but then she forgot about. And guess what- NOT one child or parent mentioned anything about it. Nothing. I saw a few glances and was mentally preparing my answers to their questions, but no questions were asked. Interesting.
Mallory took the patch off for me that night and as she's carefully peeling it away from skin she says 'Be strong, Mom. This doesn't hurt.' She then placed it on her patching chart. I felt like I earned a gold star for the day.
Day 2
I did this the following day because it was a day I worked. My job is in mental health and requires me to be in people's home. I wanted to see if their responses would be different. And they were. No one was afraid to ask about the patch. Many commented on my nice band-aid or asked if I had some kind of procedure done. I spent 8 hours sharing Mallory's story, our story. And you know what, there were times I became self-conscious. I would use my coat sleeve to cover it up if I thought someone was noticing it. I didn't want to answer any more questions, I didn't want anyone noticing
Blog after blog I read how amazing how ikids are and that they are iwarriors and they totally are. Every day Mallory gets up and puts her patch and glasses on and lives life through the sight of one eye for two hours. Every day, for two hours, she knows she's different. Every day we, as iMoms, know our kids are different, and we are making a difference in the life of our ikids. We barter. We argue. We cry. We console. Every day we soldier on. Every. day. If our amazing little ikids can do this then so can we! In the words from my four year old....
Be strong, iMoms! Be strong!
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| I have an honorary spot on the patching chart .Wonder if I'll get a reward too? |
First of all I am honored that you were inspired by my post and I LOVE that you actually followed through. Your story/experience is so different from mine, yet so similar at the same time. How sweet that you AND Mallory got to share this experience together. I am actually inspired by that and will probably do this again when Easton is a little older to share it with him as well. I did find that as much as wearing the patch taught me about Easton's perspective, it really mirrored my own insecurities and frustrations as well. As an imom, I think we go through phases of growth and acceptance for the patch from our own perspective. I noticed I have grown but still have room to grow. ;) I admire your courage and honesty in this post. Mallory knows how to be strong because she sees it in you.
ReplyDeleteI think you nailed it when you said it brought out my own insecurities and frustrations. Each day I am amazed at how much my children (and their experiences) teach me and make me grow not just as a mother, but as a person.
DeleteWhat an inspiring activity. I think I will have to do this when Julia gets older as well. And don't feel bad for your reactions to Mallory's patching. Just because it is only 2 hours, there are not drops, etc - it is still hard. In some ways it is MORE difficult because she is aware. Julia doesn't notice people staring or commenting. We are all strong!
ReplyDeleteWhat I love about imoms is all the support! Thank you for acknowledging the difficulties and struggles we face with patching~ emotionally and physically~ whether are ikids are infants, toddlers or children.
DeleteEvery person/family's experience with cataracts is equally hard. Every journey is different. It doesn't make it less hard. It just makes it your story. I am currently not patching Austin. It feels wrong. Which seems wrong in and of itself.
ReplyDeleteYou are strong! And one day she will thank you and her memory of this time will be vague. I was very sick when I was 4-5 years old. I have a very rare chronic disorder called HSP. I couldn't walk or eat solid foods. I was hospitalized multiple times. I had multiple biopsies of my kidneys that I had to be sedated for. The only memory that I have personally of this was the doctor's Mickey Mouse tie, that I lived on the living room floor on a mattress, and Daddy carried me everywhere. It went on for a year and a half. I remember other things because they were talked about as I got older. It is all VERY vague though. I think that she will be SO grateful, it won't matter that she remembers some of the trauma of it all.
(((HUGS)))
Thank you Missy for sharing your personal story. I'm sorry for all that you had to go through. What it shows me is how resilient kids are. You don't remember the unpleasant things that moms often worry about. The Mickey Mouse tie....what a cool memory! I hope all our ikids remember how awesome their patches were and that we didn't make them wear gauze withe medical tape and the little extras they get for being awesome ikids.
Delete