EYEceptional

It's an EYE update post :)

Mallory had another follow up eye appointment on Wednesday.  Jitters always accompany these appointments.  Like my fellow imoms have said, the worry starts about a week ahead and doesn't stop until we get done with the appointment and schedule the next appointment.  This time the worry wasn't completely focused on the eye. It was our first appointment with a new PO.  Yikes!  Mallory doesn't adjust well to change.   She was just starting to sit in the chair by herself when our amazing PO took another job.  (It might have had something to do with the oodles of money I spent at Build-A-Bear the last year positively reinforcing (aka bribing) good behavior at her appointments... or not).   Our new PO was good, different approach, different manner, but good.  He was concise and a no nonsense kind of guy. I could have guessed that when we were at the office for only 30 minutes.... No joke!

Here's what he told us:

• Mallory's eye is doing exceptionally well, better than he we would have predicted based on the notes in her chart.
• Pressures are good.  
• We can start spacing her appointments out more.  We don't have to return for 4 months! (that makes a little nervous. I like the reassurance)
• Continue to patch. He suggested 3 hours.  Mallory looked at him and said, 'How 'bout zero hours?' (Nice impression we gave the doctor.)  He told me it was up to me if I wanted to increase the time as we currently do 2 hours.  His minimum is 3 hours and if it were his child he would patch 3 hours. So.... really, it's not my decision.  How can I hear THAT and not have her patch 3 hours???
• Next appointment is with a new PO, the replacement for our old PO. He specializes in children under 1 with cataracts and glaucoma.  

And we celebrated a Birthday!

And despite her shenanigans, Mallory was pretty good at the appointment too!  It didn't even cost me a trip to Build-A-Bear, just a new pair of glasses..Ha!  

Dear Prednisone....

Dear Prednisone,

First, let me start by saying thank you.  Thank you for coming to our rescue each time my child can't breathe. You truly are an amazing little pill.  You allow me to be able to sleep at night! Because of you, I don't have to lay for hours listening to make sure he is breathing.  I will always be incredibly grateful.

HOWEVER, I am little disappointed of your dictatorship around my house.  The dependency I have on you irritates me and apparently my a child as well. YOU control my house for 5 (5 really, really loooong days).  My child has packed his bags to move out of the house more times than I can count. Not to mention the suitcase of food he has decided he needs to have with him at all times.  He demands the tv, more wood on the fire because he cold.  He climbs the walls, literally... well at the least the stone fireplace which, in turn, makes his sisters think they can too.  The two year old tantrums that are thrown more times than a bouncy ball off the wall to see if he can hit his sisters in head... yeah, I'm so done with those too.

Here's what I propose:

• Make your liquid partner taste amazing. I've smelled you before (I can't bring myself to taste you, even for the sake of my child.)  The cherry scented liquid doesn't quite cover up the cow manure smell.  Neither does it cover up the horrible taste judging from the chocolate chaser and glass of milk I have to have ready when giving a dose.  HELLO~ Bubblegum is an amazing flavor for little kids.  They will love you just for the taste.  
• Create a sense of AWESOMENESS in my child.  I will allow you to dictate my house forEVER if you can do just this one thing.  Parents everywhere will be demanding you.  Side Effects:  May cause a sense of awesomeness in your child, not irritability, increased appetite, just plain awesomeness.
• If you can't manage the above, please offer a complimentary supply of Xanax, Valium, Klonopin or a bottle of wine with each prescription.  Really, for what you put us through, us moms should be happy for a portion of those 5 days. Don't you think?

Sincerely,
Steroid -Crazed Mothers
(who have secretly built their own tree house to hide in and consume a beverage (or beverages) of  her choice)

bully.

I've started this post so many times and deleted it just as many.  I'm not really sure where to begin or where to end.  I thought I would have a few years before I would ever have to write about this.  But not so. I guess the easiest way is to start from the beginning. To process it from the beginning. And maybe, just maybe, I'll find my way to the end.

Friday I received a call from the school. My heart always skips a beat when that number shows up.
Me: Hello? (In my meekest, most uncertain voice. The one I always answer with when it's the school calling)
Principal: Hi Heather. It's Tiffany.  First, I just want you to know I have the situation under control.
Me: Ummm. (A variety of things are running through my mind.  They never say that. They always say "Don't    worry. Nothing is wrong')
Principal: We had situation in the cafeteria.  A boy tried to wipe peanut butter on your son's face.  He is fine. He wasn't touched.  I'm handling the situation now, but wanted you to know.

I'm not really sure what was said after that.  I tuned it out.  One of my biggest fears has become reality.  My son was bullied.  An act, a ridiculous, thoughtless act, by a 7 year old put my son's life at risk.  I'm absolutely furious at everyone, at no one.  I want to find out who the child is, talk (maybe not so quietly with the parents) and demand why! Why would you think this was funny? I was already headed to the school for an assembly. Timing couldn't have been better.

I saw my son at school at the assembly.  I wanted to cry when I saw that he was okay. Laughing with friends. He didn't mention the incident.  Good.  It isn't affecting his day. I scoped out all the kids in his class wondering who the little bully was.  Talk about checking your emotions.   I met with the family social worker at school briefly.  I needed to time to process it before I met with the principal.  I had to find the middle of the road between hysterical mom and accommodating mom.  I needed time to tuck the tears away for later that day (maybe over a glass or two of wine).

Here's what I know.  Nick was at his peanut free table when this boy purposely took his fingers, wiped them in his packet of peanut butter he brought for lunch, walked over to Nick and waved them in his face trying to touch him.  Nick immediately backed away and told the monitor.  Kudos to him... My preaching (nagging) has paid off.

The principal was very sincere and understanding.  They are treating this has a bullying/life threatening/harassment act.  The boy will be suspended.  Is this enough? I don't know.  Can I send Nick school without panicking? I don't know.  She asks,'What more do you want me to do?' I Don't Know!  I tell her I need the weekend to think, to process.  I need to talk with Nick and see what he wants.  We'll meet again on Monday.  She assures me she will do whatever needs to be done so Nick feels safe at school.

Here's what I'm feeling now:
Furious~ I'm angry that I even have to deal with this. I'm angry that there are mean people in the world.  I'm angry that unless you're an allergy mom or 'have a child with some sort of special needs' mom... you just don't get it.  You don't get that I live my life in the extreme, the worst case scenario.  You say I'm over protective, maybe a little neurotic.  I'm angry that now I will be a little more neurotic.  I'm angry that I will now have to find the middle road between being hysterical mom and accommodating mom.

Sad~ Sad that Nick will always have fear of going to school now.  Sad that a 7 year old felt the need to be funny and just 'didn't get it.' Sad that Nick will always be singled out because of his allergy.  Sad that I will always worry that Nick won't come home.

Motivated~ Motivated to make a change.  Motivated to help others understand the severity of food allergies.    Motivated to help incorporate food allergies (along with diabetes, etc) more into anti-bullying campaigns, teacher orientations, student orientations.

Overwhelmed~ Overwhelmed with all of it, with all the emotions and all the worry.

Here's my plan (for now) 
First, we praised Nick for doing the right thing and telling a teacher.  I asked Nick how he felt about it.  He says he's 'kind of' afraid to go to school now (my heart just broke a little more).  Reassuring him that it's mine, his dad's and the schools job to make sure he's safe, I asked what we could do.  He wants the student to be moved to a table far away from him and he wants the tables surrounding his to be moved further away because other kids eating peanuts make him nervous.  Pretty good plan for an 8 year old, don't you think?  (I was going to ask the child be removed from Nick's class and not be able to eat in the lunch room, possibly pay a visit to his home. I'm kidding about the last one. I think I'll stick with his very appropriate 8 year old version instead. You can learn a lot from children :)
I'll request these for him and also request that he be able to carry his medicine with him at all times.  I can't control everyone or even the environment, but I can make sure he has quick access to medicine should he need it.  I'll make a bigger deal about his allergy. If I make a bigger deal out of his allergy, maybe they will understand they seriousness of his allergy.

I'm not sure where to end this or if there will be an end in this.  Perhaps it's the beginning of bigger, better things for us and peanut allergy awareness.  Or perhaps it's the beginning of the end of my sanity.